We just wanted to have lunch.

I have always been a flag waving American, but I have my limits.

Without getting political, I'll say I've been pretty disappointed by my government and it's policies. I don't know about your government but mine is just plain stupid. Case in point:

David's English cousin, Anne, and her husband, Trefor, have been guests on board Mystic for the last few days and we've enjoyed their company while showing them around the Canadian Gulf Islands. Today we decided to cross the border and make the short one hour trip the U.S. for lunch at the lovely Roche Harbor Resort.

We tied up at the Customs dock to clear in to the U.S. and while the others waited on board I took our vessel documentation and our four passports into the customs office for this routine procedure. (Only one person is allowed to leave the boat -- the others are quarantined on board until cleared in.)

I was happy to see Officer Specht was on duty as he and I have enjoyed a friendly banter through the years. He flipped through the English passports and asked me why I thought my guests should be allowed into the United States. I smiled and said it was because they were good people, and besides, they we were our guests. Big mistake. Officer Specht said that since they didn't have visas to visit this country they wouldn't be allowed in. He explained that while aliens don't need a visa to enter the U.S. by commerical boat, private car or even on foot, they do need a visa when arriving by private boat. I asked if he could issue the visa and was shown a memo itemizing the new fee structure for aliens who arrive illegally. The visa fee was $545. Per person.

I said that they didn't want to stay in the country -- they just wanted to have lunch.

What followed was unbelievable:

Officer Specht (with his side-arm holstered) boarded our boat to interview the two elderly aliens. Satisfied that they were not terrorists we walked back down the dock to his office and he called a higher authority to ask for an okay so we could have lunch. Next thing I know, I've been sent back to the boat to fetch our guests so they could be photographed and finger-printed. Silly me, I thought this meant we'd soon be in the restaurant. But no, the Lloyd-Jones' were not allowed to enter the United States. I joked that if this was going to take a while perhaps we should order a take-out lunch and eat it before they were deported.

Officer Specht kindly offered Anne and Trefor a seat opposite the Homeland Security flag and asked me to step outside for a chat. He had taken my comment seriously and offered a menu from the restaurant we'd intended to visit. He also offered to skip the finger-printing and photos. I thanked him for his kindness but declined, "Absolutely not, let's just get on with the finger-printing."

The Lloyd-Jones' waited patiently as my friend got down to business. He had two forms to complete, one for each criminal. Filling them out by hand takes a while, but eventually I was asked to review them and okay what had been written. In the comment section was a notation that the officer had offered to skip the finger-printing and photographing. Officer Specht said he wasn't going to "twist their hands to print them" (don't want to cause them physical harm). I protested, "Of course you are. Everything else has been done exactly by the book so you have to do that, too." Turning to his colleague, Specht said that in the interest of their health he was not going to do it. His colleague agreed.


Next, he filled out yet another form for us to deliver to the Canadian customs agent when we cleared back in to Canada. Already steamed, I pointed out that we didn't need to clear back in to Canada because we'd never even gotten into the States. Wrong. Because of the "incident" we had to report to Canadian officials immediately upon leaving U.S. waters. Unbelievable, again.


David, who had been waiting patiently on the boat all this time (Did he have a choice since he was still quarantined?) photographed us returning from the little Customs and Immigration Office with our passports and our form for the Canadian officials in hand. Mind you, the Lloyd-Jones' were not allowed a copy of their deportation form. (though I managed to sneak a photo)


An hour-and-a-half after we arrived in the U.S. (though not really) we left the Customs dock and headed back towards Canada. Within minutes we spied a Navy warship coming our way. No kidding. Fortunately it wasn't after us. My best guess is that they were probably hot on the trail of a yacht that had tried to sneak a poodle into the U.S. without a rabies vaccination.

Back in Canada (the country we hadn't actually left), David cleared us in without incident, and in just a couple of minutes we were all free to enjoy lunch.


Perhaps I should become a flag-waving Canadian, eh?